Made to slog like a cow

I remember taking my mum's old account books when I was young and pretending to be a teacher by marking those books. I took LOADS of my mum's books and tried to make myself as BUSY a 'teacher' as I could be. Since young, I have always wanted a busy job, a job that can keep me on my toes all the time. When I worked part time as a salesgirl in boutique, and then a department store and followed by, in a pharmacy, I found those job pure torture, because I couldn't stand DOING NOTHING all day. I loved the public holidays and weekends when busy times and heaps of customers were a sure thing. When I entered clinical years, I loved on-calls as there were a high chance that I could actually DO something, using my hands, hands-on work. But of course, I was/am disappointed at times when the Emergency Department turned out not to be as busy as I expected.

I love learning about psychiatry and psychology as much as I love learning new things, theories (because they are still only theories and I can still challenge them) and philosophy (I happen to find psychiatry, or psychology at least, very philosophical). BUT, the BUT is that procedural work is sooooo limited in psychiatry, no, make that almost non-existent. Luckily, it's only 7 weeks or I would have been irreversibly ruined. Why ruined? Because sitting around, for me, sets off a vicious cycle. When I sit around not doing anything with my hands, I become very lethargic. And when the lethargy goes away, it will be replaced by a gradual onset of laziness. And the mild laziness will then become more serious and prolonged until I just don't feel like getting up anymore (metaphorical). And ultimately, but not yet for now, I will become a total bum. And after realising that I've become a total bum, I will become stressed about it and the stress will turn me into this hostile and crappy person, who snaps at people easily. AND ALL these happen because I AM TOO FREE. Am I sick or what? Or am I destined for a hard life, hard as in the-need-to-slog-in-order-to-be-happy kind of life?

*sigh* I can't wait to go back to the life of blood-taking, IV cannulation, doing CBD (ok, maybe not this after a disgusting episode), taking fast and concise history because it's an emergency case and even, physical examination, yes, even that. Oh..wait....dang...I'll be going to Combined Specialty posting next...I don't think there will be much procedural work there too. Somebody better find me a cure for irreversible laziness, fast!