The tap water is running and overflowing in the bathroom and somehow, he can't seem to hear it.
The stench from his pet permeates the living room and somehow, he can't seem to smell it.
The mother is groaning in pain due to backache from overwork and he can't seem to lift a finger to help out around the house.
The parents are worried sick of his future and yet he can't seem to push himself to study harder.
He has so much potential, so many talents, so much determination, so much discipline but yet they are not properly utilized.
He has a soft heart, a kind heart, loyalty, sensibility but are these enough for him to survive in the harsh and cruel world?
I love him so much. That is probably why I am so exasperated that he is not trying his best to live up to his potential. I thought maybe I expect too much from him. But how can you expect too much from someone who has not even put in 20% of their effort?
I don't look down on the garbage-collector, the trishaw-puller or the kueh tiaw-seller. I respect these people for their diligence, their down-to-earth self. These people earn an honest wage.
I don't expect him to be like me. I just want to see some form of effort, some hard work. I want him to have a goal in life towards which he can pursue and work hard to achieve. Most of all, I don't want to see history repeating itself and the victim being him. THAT is why I am so worried about him.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
The most unappreciated job
The most under-appreciated occupation is, I think, a homemaker, whether a housewife or househusband. I will use the term 'housewife' because it is more common than a househusband. The day of a housewife begins at the crack of dawn. She wakes earlier than her family because she needs to wake her children up for school, prepare their breakfast and send them to school. Then comes the second round of waking up the husband for work and preparing breakfast. After the husband and children have left, the chores begin- sweeping, mopping, dusting, laundry- laundry is only ONE word, but laundry itself involves washing, hanging it up, collecting it back when it's dry, sorting, folding, ironing and putting them back into different cupboards in different rooms. So, 'laundry' contains ONE word but it involves at least 7 acts!
And then comes the meals- breakfast, lunch, dinner and sometimes, tea-time and supper. For those who have never stepped foot into the kitchen, it may perhaps be a very lucky thing for you. Why? To prepare a meal, the housewife has to start by THINKING of the dishes- what her family wants and likes to eat, what each of them dislikes or is allergic to, what is nutritious and good for them and cost-effectiveness. Depending on each family's practice/ habit, a housewife has to think of not ONE dish, but at least 2-3 dishes for not ONE meal but for at least 2 meals (lunch and dinner). Then, comes marketing- she has to drive to the market, supermarket or shops to get the various ingredients. For the not so fortunate housewives, whose husband never earns enough, then they have to wisely plan the budget for each meal as well. Again, for those who has never laid their hand on a spatula, contrary to what they think, to cook say, a curry chicken doesn't just require ONE ingredient, that is chicken. Besides chicken, you need potatoes, garlic, curry powder, coconut, the seasonings etc etc. So one dish is not equivalent to one ingredient! I will not elaborate the details and steps of preparing a curry chicken. My point is to cook ONE dish involves MANY processes. Don't forget the dirty dishes to be washed after each meal! So imagine a housewife who cooks EVERYDAY to have the children come home and say "Yuck, I don't like this vege!" and another child saying "I am on diet, I'm not eating that lemon chicken" and the husband coming home saying he has eaten outside.
Yes, a housewife may be given money by the husband every month but the money is meant for household expenses. In other words, a housewife DOES NOT have a pay. Few would have enough money left to spend and indulge on themselves. I am talking about the average housewife, not the rich tai tai, of course.
Here comes the children. The housewife is expected to take care of the children, which includes their studies. Helping them with homework and projects, fetching them to and fro school and tuition and even to other places when they want to hang out with friends. When the children becomes naughty, it's the mother's fault for not taking the children in hand.
A housewife is also expected to perform their wifely duty and serve their husband well. Amid the hours of slogging on household chores and the financial limitation (as elaborated above), a housewife is expected to still look beautiful for the husband and to welcome home the working husband with a warm smile and a warm meal on the table. After all, to the husband, how tired could the wife be?! She is at home the whole day, while he is out the whole day.
Apart from being a housewife, some women also have to juggle a career and work in order to make ends meet. Imagine having to do everything I have described above AND having to WORK outside at the same time. If anyone thinks this is an easy feat, then you are a very prosaic person because you cannot IMAGINE how difficult it is.
Why do I say unappreciated? How many children and husband express their gratitude and appreciation to their wife or mother for each meal prepared, each time the floor is swept and mopped, each piece of clothing ironed and hung out nicely for them, each time the mother dropped the children off at school? Most often, the children would look up to the father for working so hard and bringing money home for the family. And the children would also be reminded many times by the mother to study hard because "Your dad works so hard for you." But most husband and children forget that the housewife works just as hard too. How often does the husband remind the children on how hard the mother is working at home, ensuring a cosy home for them all?
I am not sure if I could ever be noble and self-sacrificial enough to be a homemaker. Well, maybe yes. The last I heard, motherhood is quite a life-changing experience. So the cliche says "A mother will do anything for her child" but when the time comes, I sure would negotiate for a better deal- AT LEAST, there should be a maid or two, a pay with annual bonus, annual review of the pay and EPF.
And then comes the meals- breakfast, lunch, dinner and sometimes, tea-time and supper. For those who have never stepped foot into the kitchen, it may perhaps be a very lucky thing for you. Why? To prepare a meal, the housewife has to start by THINKING of the dishes- what her family wants and likes to eat, what each of them dislikes or is allergic to, what is nutritious and good for them and cost-effectiveness. Depending on each family's practice/ habit, a housewife has to think of not ONE dish, but at least 2-3 dishes for not ONE meal but for at least 2 meals (lunch and dinner). Then, comes marketing- she has to drive to the market, supermarket or shops to get the various ingredients. For the not so fortunate housewives, whose husband never earns enough, then they have to wisely plan the budget for each meal as well. Again, for those who has never laid their hand on a spatula, contrary to what they think, to cook say, a curry chicken doesn't just require ONE ingredient, that is chicken. Besides chicken, you need potatoes, garlic, curry powder, coconut, the seasonings etc etc. So one dish is not equivalent to one ingredient! I will not elaborate the details and steps of preparing a curry chicken. My point is to cook ONE dish involves MANY processes. Don't forget the dirty dishes to be washed after each meal! So imagine a housewife who cooks EVERYDAY to have the children come home and say "Yuck, I don't like this vege!" and another child saying "I am on diet, I'm not eating that lemon chicken" and the husband coming home saying he has eaten outside.
Yes, a housewife may be given money by the husband every month but the money is meant for household expenses. In other words, a housewife DOES NOT have a pay. Few would have enough money left to spend and indulge on themselves. I am talking about the average housewife, not the rich tai tai, of course.
Here comes the children. The housewife is expected to take care of the children, which includes their studies. Helping them with homework and projects, fetching them to and fro school and tuition and even to other places when they want to hang out with friends. When the children becomes naughty, it's the mother's fault for not taking the children in hand.
A housewife is also expected to perform their wifely duty and serve their husband well. Amid the hours of slogging on household chores and the financial limitation (as elaborated above), a housewife is expected to still look beautiful for the husband and to welcome home the working husband with a warm smile and a warm meal on the table. After all, to the husband, how tired could the wife be?! She is at home the whole day, while he is out the whole day.
Apart from being a housewife, some women also have to juggle a career and work in order to make ends meet. Imagine having to do everything I have described above AND having to WORK outside at the same time. If anyone thinks this is an easy feat, then you are a very prosaic person because you cannot IMAGINE how difficult it is.
Why do I say unappreciated? How many children and husband express their gratitude and appreciation to their wife or mother for each meal prepared, each time the floor is swept and mopped, each piece of clothing ironed and hung out nicely for them, each time the mother dropped the children off at school? Most often, the children would look up to the father for working so hard and bringing money home for the family. And the children would also be reminded many times by the mother to study hard because "Your dad works so hard for you." But most husband and children forget that the housewife works just as hard too. How often does the husband remind the children on how hard the mother is working at home, ensuring a cosy home for them all?
I am not sure if I could ever be noble and self-sacrificial enough to be a homemaker. Well, maybe yes. The last I heard, motherhood is quite a life-changing experience. So the cliche says "A mother will do anything for her child" but when the time comes, I sure would negotiate for a better deal- AT LEAST, there should be a maid or two, a pay with annual bonus, annual review of the pay and EPF.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)