Reasons or Excuses?

What is the difference between a reason and an excuse? A reason is reasonable, relevant and is hence, acceptable. An excuse on the other hand, is something unreasonable and unacceptable. Why unacceptable? Most of the time, excuses can be prevented if more effort, sincerity and commitment have been made. 

I remember when I was in the choir. Whenever something unexpected cropped up, I always had to think hard for the proper thing to say, so that whatever I said could be accepted as a reason. If I didn't have a reason, or rather, if I could merely come up with an EXCUSE, I would just admit that it was my mistake and accepted the scolding. I wouldn't even dared to attempt to pass my excuse as my reason. That was how I was taught by Robert. Those years of character remodelling under him have taught me, among other things, to be reliable and responsible, so that there will never come a time when I need to find myself a reason to account for my inadequacy. 

And this is why I find it absolutely preposterous when people can come up with REASONS like "I'm late because there is a traffic jam", "I can't pass up my assignment on time because our lecture finished late yesterday and I didn't have time to do it", "I have to skip class tomorrow because I have to send my car for service", "I didn't do a good job on my presentation because I couldn't get connected to the internet" etc etc. 

I'm not insulting the people around me or YOU, should you have used those same excuses. I do, rarely, find myself mumbling those same excuses when I am caught in a desperate situation. It's just we have to bear in mind that there is never a reason good enough to account for our own mistake, incompetency and irresponsibility, although that doesn't mean we cannot be forgiven for those. But it does bother me when people voice out some pretty dumb excuses in such a matter-of-fact tone, as though, they are perfectly, sound reasons. That's what boggles my mind! They don't see the invalidity of their childish reasons.   

A Christmas Prayer

"THE ROAD NOT TAKEN"

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, 

And sorry I could not travel both 

And be one traveler, long I stood 

And looked down one as far as I could 

To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair, 

And having perhaps the better claim, 

Because it was grassy and wanted wear; 

Though as for that the passing there 

Had worn them really about the same, 

And both that morning equally lay 

In leaves no step had trodden black. 

Oh, I kept the first for another day! 

Yet knowing how way leads on to way, 

I doubted if I should ever come back. 

I shall be telling this with a sigh 

Somewhere ages and ages hence: 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— 

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference. 

Because you took the road less taken, it is never going to be easy, not now, not in the near future but hopefully, soon. I think your decision to acknowledge who you are and to live it down and well is commendable and is something you should always remember when you are feeling desolated and disappointed by the world's harsh reality and its cruel inhabitants.

Stepping out of the comfort zone is never easy and I can understand the reason why you want to stay hidden. But the longer you hide and the more people you hide it from, the tougher it is going to be for you to come out. On one hand, you cannot accuse people for not accepting you when you have never laid out the truth to be begin with. You also cannot accuse us for stigmatization when you have not raised any awareness in the first place. And remaining in the closet is not going to make any difference. Just as I like to tell people to do their part in saving the environment, I'm telling you to do your part to stand up for your community. Educate us to stem out our ignorance.

The ultimate goal in our very transient and unpredictable life is to be happy. I pray that you will be happy, truly happy and at peace with the people you love around you. I pray that you will have wisdom and courage to live your life the way you think is best for you. I pray that you will be magnanimous and forgiving towards those who do not understand you. I pray that you will be blessed with tolerance to deal with the unfairness and sufferings that sometimes go your way.I pray for the beautiful love and relationship between you and your mother. I pray that the road you chose, would be the right one and that one day, you could tell your story with a happy and contented sigh.

UNICEF - Raise Your Hands, Stop Child Abuse

UNICEF - Raise Your Hands, Stop Child Abuse

Think negative

A friend was playing a fool on the road today. She was doing a little jig as we were all glad that class ended at 12pm. Another friend was driving up the street and this friend then playfully went in front of the approaching car. Sensing the harmless playful mischief, the driving friend also decided to go along and playfully swerved her car towards the friend.

Throughout the whole scene, I couldn't hold back my horror and my heart literally did a little flip as the image of the probable and highly possible consequence of all this flashed through my mind. Alarmed, I immediately expressed my concern and told my friend that what she did was a really bad idea. "What if she accidentally knocked into you?" To which she replied "You're so negative" in a somewhat jokingly manner.
(I actually wanted to add "Accidents happen not because someone intentionally and consciously knocked into someone- if it's intentional, they would call it homicide. Accidents happen because someone ACCIDENTALLY and unintentionally knocked into someone. Hence, the word 'ACCIDENTS'. )

I was reading "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch when I came across this chapter about how we all have to be prepared.  "Another way to be prepared is to think negatively". This sentence reminded me of the earlier incident. Being negative is not necessarily a bad thing. It also brought back an earlier advice by an uncle to my brother and I. I still remembered the conversation.
Uncle: Everybody likes to say Think positively. But for me, I like to think negatively. Because only then can I turn the negative into a positive thing.

This is what Randy wrote "Yes, I'm a great optimist. But when trying to make a decision, I often think of the worst-case scenario. I call it "The Eaten by Wolves Factor". If I do something, what's the most terrible thing that could happen? Would I be eaten by wolves? One thing that makes it possible to be an optimist is if you have a contingency plan for when all hell breaks loose. There are a lot of things I don't worry about because I have a plan in place if they do."

I learned today, that people shouldn't be accused of Thinking negatively, something, which tends to bring about a negative connotation BECAUSE Thinking negatively is in fact, a preparation to enable positive things to happen.