Fascinated

Night shift last night was good...The most relaxing night I have ever had since I entered Block A...All previous night shifts were so busy that I hardly had time to sit. So I went home fairly bright-eyed this morning.

I used to prefer toddlers over babies because I think toddlers can respond and communicate with you..Toddlers are more responsive. Babies just sleep and cry and don't respond to you. Being in neonate now, I am totally fascinated by babies. Like last night, there was this new admission and this baby had the weirdest cry that I couldn't stop laughing. Even the nurse commented to the baby "Pelik lah awak...nangis macam ni...sampai doktor (referring to me) geli hati, ketawa macam tu" Hahaha... I just couldn't describe how the baby cried but it was so weird and funny at the same time. 

How do babies, newborns/ neonates to be exact, fascinate me? Hmm....As I have mentioned, the very fact that such a small 'thing' could sustain and contain a LIFE is itself fascinating to me. Plus each of them is so different. They may be tiny but they definitely have a personality of their own. Each of their cry is different. They respond differently. I used to think babies look the same but now I am starting to distinguish them and I think each of them definitely looks different with their unique personality. One thing that never fails to make me smile is seeing a baby smile in his/her sleep. Sometimes I would be just minding my own business, busy taking blood or writing in the case note when I would look up and see this baby smiling in his/her sleep, occasionally with a dimpled smile. It just makes me S.M.I.L.E. Or that they will be sleeping nicely and then suddenly they will startle and start crying. That makes me laugh too. I am wondering what is actually going on in their minds. Can they think already? What are they thinking? Can they dream already? Are they having such a nice dream that it makes them smile in their sleep? I also like to make fun of them using the rooting reflex. When they are hungry and you start stroking the side of their mouth, their mouth will open like a goldfish and start searching out our finger to suck on. 

I complain sometimes of how tired I am, how difficult work is...bla bla bla...but when I think of these innocent little ones, these tiny beings that make me smile, these Heaven-sent gifts that are sometimes born prematurely or born with so many problems, these bundles of joy that sometimes turn out to bring more tears of sadness rather than joy, I stop complaining. How could I?