Dark clouds

As long as we are alive and living, it is inevitable that we have to associate, communicate and interact with others. Those who say that they can live alone without others are big fat liars. Individuals make up a family and families make up a community and communities make up a society and societies make up a nation or a country and well, nations and countries make up this world, this life here on earth.

And being an individual living on this earth, my happiness, sorrow, peace and feelings are influenced by my surroundings, other than myself. My family’s problems have the biggest impact on me, my friends’ wellbeing can sometimes affect my mood too, and what happens in my society, community and country may also shift my affect (psychiatric term..ehem..) and mood from one end of the spectrum to another.

And so, a colleague of mine was punished today and you all know in housemanship what being punished means. It was a silly silly and miniscule reason that is totally undeserving of the punishment being meted out. Not to mention she is one of the most competent, knowledgeable and hardworking HO I have ever met. It is so unfair. I know the world is an unfair place but one can still hope.

I feel  down too. Her eyes are all swollen from crying and I can see that the tears were still threatening to fall. Without any hint of condescension, I can say I totally understand her feelings because I was through the same hell not so long ago.

The thing is, during housemanship, nothing and I mean nothing is absolutely safe and stable.  Wherever you are, whatever you do, whoever you talk to, whatever that comes out of your mouth can be a reason for punishment. Just when you think you are beginning to ease into the routine and settle down, something happens that throw you so out of proportion that you are not even sure you can get back up. I am only a first poster, only 2 months into my job and probably should not be so proud as to sound like I know it all...the housemanship life. But then again, perhaps it is because I am so new that I have all the more right to say this because I am still fresh and still remember what life is like BEFORE I cross that bridge and enter into this entirely different world. My best friend just told me she got shouted at by her consultant in front of everyone in that goddamn ward. I can only sigh because this is the kind of life we have signed up for, at least for now.